The lead-in to overindulgence is different for all of us, but many people experience it on some level. Overindulgence often leaves us with feelings of shame and frustration, worried if life will ever be different. In the moment of a poor decision, we think about stopping, maybe try to negotiate with ourselves to do so, yet we quiet the inner voice and continue on, setting up discontentment, blame, and regret. It’s easier to keep going than to draw a line in the sand and stop. Again, the unwelcomed cycle of overindulgence takes control.
These experiences rob us of the freedom to live with joy and a heart of gratitude.
It’s difficult to love ourselves when we’re repeatedly disappointed with our choices. We may look in the mirror and see behaviors we don’t like. If you find it difficult to approach yourself and say “I love you,” then there are some inner struggles calling out to you. This mirror exercise is one I use with my clients and is a type of litmus test.
This is what I want you to know: When we overindulge, we are attempting to fulfill a longing or meet a need with things, activities, or situations.
Before you allow transformation in your life, you must first become aware of your heart’s needs. Acknowledging the longings of our heart can feel scary. We may fail as we strive to achieve it, and by denying our heart’s hopes we give ourselves a fake safety. Rather than risk the possibility of failure it can be more assuring to ignore the promptings inside us and reach for the means to “fulfill” by controlling our environment or allowing clutter in our lives. Sometimes our overindulgence takes the form of clutter which can give us a false sense of control in order to hide the important issues by making life feel “easier.”
Clutter allows us to hide from our heart’s desires, meanwhile, we continue to try to fill our longing through overindulgence. Clutter, both tangible or intangible, is a source of comfort. We know how to do life in our comfort zone and we feel more in control when we’re comfortable.
Even though these patterns feel safe, they are robbing you of what could be.
A personal goal of mine is to live without regrets. Often, this means moving into the uncontrollable and the uncomfortable. However, the thought of my disappointment twenty years from now over things I didn’t do leads me to a place of courage. It has taken me time to get here. I had to get curious about all I had the potential to become, and to allow the idea of growth to become more important than the comfort of not changing.
If you relate to the discontentment of living in comforting clutter, false control, and draining overindulgence, but you’re hungry for change (healthier relationships, more energy, confidence, peace, fulfillment), send me your contact information under the Contact tab and let’s talk. Coaching may be the answer to help you grow into your “best self.”
I’d love for you to get curious about who you really are and release negative self-talk as
your default. Who are you as God created and planned? The answer lies within you. Your
awareness of unresolved hurts, wants, needs, and longings is where transformation begins.
As a thank you for visiting my website and joining this community of women who desire to be
better every day, I’d like to offer you a virtual free consult. We’ll look at what you’d like to see
happen in your life and see if working together is a good fit. I’d love to connect!
Do something special for yourself each and every day. And don’t forget to put on your own oxygen mask first!
Be Well, Be Curious, Be YOU!
I love you, Friend
Mary